


ways i can't tell

by carnivorousBelvedere



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Beaches, Best Friends, Bonfires, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Garage Band, Guitar, M/M, Mutual Pining, Prom, Slow Dancing, Something cute, feel-good fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 10:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19108123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carnivorousBelvedere/pseuds/carnivorousBelvedere
Summary: You, Karkat Vantas, are in love with none other than Dave Strider, a garage-band guitar playing beach bum with a dying Volkswagen van who also happens to be your best friend.





	ways i can't tell

**Author's Note:**

> You and me  
> Peas in a pod  
> Me on the guitar, you on the drum  
> Scheming together  
> Partners in crime, never caught  
> So what is this I can never say  
> So wanna dance baby?
> 
> [Ways I Can't Tell - Crystal Fighters](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3hDwLyNVt4)
> 
>  
> 
> i heard this song and it was like, major beachy pining dancy vibes, so then this happened

You love the face he makes when he sits down on the musty couch and the way he likes his french fries extra crispy and how he never asks before stealing some of your ketchup. 

You hate his stupid sunglasses he always wears. 

You love the way you still know his eyes are pinched tight under them as he fingers out something on the guitar, lost in thought. 

You hate that you can’t see how he’s looking at you when you finish a killer drum break. 

You love the way that he grins and yells about how it was amazing. 

It’s just you and Dave in your garage-turned-jam space and the dust motes in the air and the horrible music that everyone probably thinks is terrible but that you both love. It’s just you and Dave and your stupid rants he tolerates and his dumb rambles that you complain about but secretly don’t mind at all.

Sometimes he records your music, adds synth and bass and all the shit you can’t do. He’s so much more talented than you are, more talented than you will ever be, and it’s a wonder he hasn’t used that talent to pick up girls left and right like he could. He probably will soon with prom looming in the distance. You can see it now, him asking you to help him make a mix and sneak in a proposal to someone. 

Damn does that thought hit like a gut punch. 

The problem is that you, Karkat Vantas, are in love with none other than Dave Strider, a garage-band guitar playing beach bum with a dying Volkswagen van who also happens to be your best friend. 

You and Dave are inseparable. He’s constantly at your house, rocking out in your garage with you. And when you’re not with him there you’re at school, or hanging out at the beach in his van because he hates his apartment. 

But no one can know that you are in love with Dave. It would ruin everything. You don’t think you could handle losing Dave as a friend. It would tear you apart. 

So you can deal with this, the way your heart starts to race when he slings his arm around you in a casual hug at school, only at school, or how you feel your breath leave your chest when he hugs you goodbye after your hangout and jam sessions and wraps the full breadth of his arms around you. 

You can deal with this, the way he’ll sometimes slide his sunglasses up into his hair when it’s just you two huddled around a beach fire pit at night, and you try not to think that it’s because you’re special. 

You can deal with this, the way his voice is smooth and beautiful enough to be a teenage heartthrob, and how somehow it harmonizes with your gruff, throaty tone, as if it was meant to be like that. 

You can deal with this, loving Dave until he finds someone else and you’re forced to stop it, this whatever-it-is ridiculous flight of fancy that can never, will never, be true. 

You can deal with this. 

One day Dave tells you he’s going to ask Jade to prom. 

_You don’t think you can deal with this_. 

-

You didn’t realize you were in love with Karkat until it was too late. It had been slow at first, the sleepovers in the same bed where you made deliberate actions to lay closer to him, because you wanted to be near him. The times when you took your glasses off because you wanted to see him and for him to see you, _really_ see you in the way no one else did, because you already knew he did. 

You didn’t know when it happened. 

It just did. 

One day you and Karkat were the best of friends, best Bros, and he was Broseidon king of your ocean, your C-3PBRO, and the two of you made music like Broheed and Cambria. 

The next you were suddenly tripping in front of him, unable to maintain your vocals when you jammed together. Your hands would shake on your strings or the keys of your keyboard when he was nearby. 

It was an embarrassing series of revelations later that night that lead you to realize you liked him in a more-than-friends way. 

But you couldn’t stop being his friend, of course. You couldn’t lose Karkat. 

You feel like it’s slowly becoming more and more obvious, in the way that you hug him when you’re about to leave his house for the night, because you just don’t want to let go. Or it’s in the way you drag out your jam sessions, or ‘forget’ to stop adding wood to the fire pit so that he’s forced to hang around longer. 

It’s selfish, and he’s going to figure it out sooner or later, and you need to stop. 

You wonder if he’s catching on to your scent so you make a rash decision to do something about it.

You decide to ask Jade to prom. 

That should throw him off. 

He’ll never know. 

-

“I’m gonna ask Jade to prom,” Dave says suddenly as you finish up another jam session.

“Oh,” you say, and feel your heart crack a little. “That’s cool.”

“I mean. Yeah she’s cool. Ya know. One of the homies. One of the cool kids, a welcome addition on our council of cool.” Dave starts to go off, and you can feel your heart hitting the front of your chest. “She’ll be like, a hip sidepiece ya know. She’s probably gonna wear green. Do I even look good in green? Guess I’m gonna find out, because I am totally asking Jade to prom. As homies.”

Dave is rambling. Dave rambles often, but the nature of this one is making you nervous. “As homies,” you repeat in a deadpan. 

“I mean like. I dunno. Could be more than homies. What do you think about that, bro?” 

You swallow. “Dave, stop being so fucking weird about this.” What you don’t say is, _Are you trying to tell me you like Jade?_ , because the words leaving your chest might actually swing around and stab you. 

“Me? Weird? Nah. I mean like, what’s weird about asking a nice girl to prom? Nothing. You gonna ask someone?” 

You recoil. “Oh, yeah, obviously,” you say, laughing nervously. 

“I mean, like, were you gonna ask Jade? I’ll totally step off if you were going to, man. Not gonna harsh your mellow, no way, no how, dude.” 

You purse your lips, frowning. You’d been putting off thinking about prom for this very nightmare reason. Maybe you’d fantasized about asking Dave once or twice, well actually way more than once or twice, and then laughed off the thought. 

As if Dave would ever want to go with _you_. 

“--Yoo-hoo, earth to Vantas, are you giving me the green flag or what? Red flag? Something? Ice cool? Hot rice?” 

“I wasn’t going to ask Jade to prom,” you snap, feeling a bit frustrated and unable to find the source of it.

“I-- Oh. Okay. That’s chill then. Chill. We’re all chill, we live at the beach. Chilling is in our blood.” 

“I was gonna ask Nepeta,” you say. 

“Nepeta?” Dave repeats after a long moment. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” 

“Isn’t she like, super in love with you or something?” You wonder if that was a tremor in his voice you just heard. 

“Nepeta? What? No she’s not.” 

You watch something pass on Dave’s face behind his shades and wonder what it was. You can see his eyebrows pinch together in what might be concern. “I’m… I’m like, pretty sure she is dude. Or was. I dunno.” 

“Okay well. Maybe I should ask her to prom then,” you growl. Why are you suddenly mad? 

“Yeah, maybe you should,” Dave echos with a similar hint of discontent.

“I will then.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

You look away. “Uh. How are you gonna ask Jade?”

Dave’s shoulders sink. “Haven’t thought about it yet,” he says quietly. “You?” 

“No, me neither.” Obviously. 

“That’s cool. We’ll think of something, right? I know I can always count on you,” Dave says.

You huff. “Yeah. Always.” 

This hurts way more than you thought it would. 

Fuck.

-

You ask Nepeta to prom. She seems... pleasantly surprised.

Dave asks Jade to prom.

Everything is fine.

 

A week passes and you manage to quell the fire for Dave a bit, at least enough to get back to hanging out with him in the way you always do, and hope you always will. 

 

Sunset was a little over an hour ago. The stars are beginning to cross the sky.

The fire burns in the pit brightly before you. Dave’s van is parked on the sand overlooking the expanse of beach and ocean around you. A couple of blankets are set out and Dave sits in the side sliding door opening of the van with his feet in the sand, fingers busy plucking away ambient sounds on his ukelele. 

Some of the sounds are just soft plinking noises, others are strums full of chords. You can hear him slowly building a song in the way he always does that never ceases to impress you. 

B♭B♭, DD FF DD, FF AA CC AA, DD FF AA GG, DD, CC AAA…. Then he repeats the sequences over again, going back and forth between speeds. 

You’re busy ranting while he half listens and mentally transcribes at the same time, nodding his head away. The fire reflects off his sunglasses as he gazes into it. 

“I can’t believe John wants to get a party bus. Though I actually think it was Roxy’s idea, but you know he can’t say no to her. Anyways, what the fuck? A bunch of assholes with a stripper pole dancing like no one needs to see. Not real dancing. Everyone’s just going to get underage drunk or crossed and make embarrassing choice, per fucking usual. Not like anyone knows how to really dance, right?” 

“I don’t,” Dave says suddenly, out of nowhere.

“What?” You almost snap at the interjection.

He shrugs, just staring off into the fire. “I don’t know how to dance,” he repeats. “Slow dance, I guess. I mean like, so that I don’t step on someone I guess.” 

“Oh.” There’s a long silence that follows where neither of you speak. “Do you uh, do you want to learn? Because I can teach you,” you offer suddenly, not sure where it’s coming from. 

Dave’s head turns slightly to look at you. “What? You can?” 

“Uhh…” You get up onto your knees from your cross legged seat on the blanket. “Yeah. Totally. Why didn’t you say so before?” 

He stares at you open mouthed for a moment before speaking. “Oh. Okay. Yeah. Let’s do it, then. Waltz me the fuck up, bro.” He sets the uke down beside him and watches as you get to your feet and put a hand out to him. He takes the hand and lets you haul him up to his feet, so hard that he almost stumbles into you. 

“Alright, give me a second to think about this. Because I need to teach you the guy part?” Why are you doing this again? Are you seriously about to teach Dave how to slow dance? “Oh and music.” You’d paused the small Bluetooth speaker you keep in his van earlier to let Dave mess around with a new tune, so you reach into your back pocket and start it up again with something a bit more downtempo. Very downtempo.

Oh no, almost too downtempo, romantic even, but it’s too late now. You shove the phone in your back pocket while the small speaker starts up again and turn around to see Dave looking at you expectantly, arms hanging at his sides. 

You go up and stand in front of him, a bit closer than you usually would. “So. Uh. With girls.” Your throat is suddenly so dry. “You just put your arms around their-- Yeah, like that.” Dave puts his hands around your waist instantly, closing even more of the distance between you two. Heat rushes up your back to your face and thank goodness it’s dark out and that Dave is wearing his sunglasses. 

“And your partner would…” You lift your arms up and slink them around his shoulders, and hesitate for a moment before leaning weight on them, around his neck. “... Like this.” 

Dave is looking at your face, and you realize you are barely breathing. “And then you just kind of… step around.” God, words, you just can’t fucking use them can you? 

“... Like this?” Dave says, and sways you by moving to one side. 

“Uh. Yeah pretty much. Easy, right?” He’s a natural. Then again, it wasn’t really that hard in the first place, and Dave is a natural at basically everything. 

His hands feel so nice around your waist. 

You expect him to stop almost immediately, but he doesn’t. He steps to the other side, swaying you again, and you are absolutely no longer breathing. You find yourself leaning forward even further, subconsciously. 

“Dave?” You say. 

“Mhm,” he says blankly, and all you know is that he’s looking at you through his sunglasses and you are leaning towards him and you know, oh god you know you want to kiss him, you’re going to kiss him unless you stop… 

His neck is so warm under your hands and you can’t remember the last time you were this close to him for this long and he smells faintly like smoke and sand and coastal sage, all reminiscently _Dave_. 

You’re going to kiss him. 

You can’t kiss Dave.

You let go of his neck and step backwards away from him, but Dave does not let go of you, and as you jerk back from him he goes with you. You kick sand and _fall_. 

Dave crashes into you on the shifting terrain. 

“Shit, sorry,” he says, pushing himself up on his elbows over you. “I…” Dave looks confused, his glasses only slightly knocked to the side. 

_What the fuck is happening?_

The moment of you staring up, slightly open mouthed at him, might have lasted forever, but it was definitely not long enough. 

Suddenly he’s off of you and shaking off sand before he steps on to the blanket. The music plays on in the background as you clumsily sit up on shaking forearms. 

“Sorry,” you mutter. 

“Nah dude we good. I’ve been learn-ed. We be all good.” He picks up the uke with vigor and plops back down in the van. You go to pause the music with a sigh as he starts plucking away again. 

Did something just happen between you two? Are you making it up in your head because you’re that pathetic? 

The hole of emptiness in your chest that you dream of Dave filling aches even more than before. 

-

It’s finally prom night. Early in the evening, you dress in your black suit and red tie. You look in the mirror at yourself for a long time, wondering how you’re going to handle seeing Dave in his suit. You already know he’s going to look good. He always looks good. 

 

You’re finally outside of John’s house, everyone congregating for pictures before you all board the party bus. 

“Hey, you look great,” you tell Nepeta genuinely when you see her. She smiles at you. 

“Thanks you’re looking pretty good yourself,” she says, rolling her r’s in the characteristic way she always does. 

The corsage and boutonniere exchange goes smoothly. You and Nepeta decided not to match outfit colors, but your flowers at least match. She’s wearing a one-shoulder deep olive green dress, and then there’s you in your usual favorite red. 

When Dave shows up your jaw drops. He’s wearing a suit and red vest, the exact same color as yours. He also looks amazing.

Jade is wearing green too. 

It would be funny if you didn’t feel like you wanted Dave so much on your arm instead. Looking at him is almost painful, so you avoid looking at him. 

And then he ignores you, too. 

You glance over once, and you think you see him looking at you, but he’s wearing his shades so you can’t really know. You can’t imagine what the longing on your face looks like. 

Your gaze only snaps away when Nepeta asks you something. 

“Huh?” You say stupidly. 

“Karkat, why did you ask me to prom?” 

You’re taken aback by the question. “Uhhhh….”

“I thought you were going to ask Dave, honestly,” she says, somehow so cheerily. 

You just. “What? No. What. Why would I ask Dave.”

“Eh. You guys would have been cute together.”

You blush furiously. “I thought you liked me,” you say with a pout after calming down for a moment. 

She laughs. “You’re sweet, Karkat. But I got over you awhile ago. There’s uh… no offense, but I think I found _greener_ pastures.” You follow her gaze and see her actually looking at Jade in her green dress. 

Oh. 

-

You avoid Dave on the party bus, and he avoids you too. Everyone else is rambunctious, dancing on the poles and having a good time, and you’re just sitting here, hands crossed in your lap as you avoid the gaze of your best friend. 

-

When you finally, _finally_ get to the venue, you lose Nepeta within seconds.  
Well, you at least got some nice photos out of it. 

You huff and seat yourself at a table surrounding the dance floor and start playing with one of the bags of complimentary candy hanging around. They’re playing shitty mixed pop, beats hitting so that it makes dance floor grinding an uncomfortable affair. Dave would probably have some music theory rant on it. 

You sigh and chance a glance around at the other tables. You scan around and then snap back to one. 

Just like you, Dave is sitting alone at a table on the other side of the dancefloor. 

You sit up and bite your lip. Should you go over there and talk to him? 

Why all the sudden aren’t you guys talking? 

Well, you know why. It’s your own fault. You’d been avoiding him all evening, of course he was going to pick up on that. He probably thought you were mad at him for something. 

You weren’t mad at him. You were mad at yourself.

You let your feelings get in the way of your friendship. You know that, and you won’t let it happen again. You should try and fix this. And maybe if it is because he’s mad at you, you want to know why so you can fix that, too.

You stand and cross the dancefloor, making a beeline to him.

“Hey,” you say, at your normal level, because your normal level is still loud enough to be heard over the music. 

He jumps slightly and looks up at you, his mouth forming a little round ‘o’. “Oh. Hey.” 

“Can I…” you clear your throat, wishing you grabbed at least some water to help your dry mouth before coming over here. “Can I sit here?” 

“Y-yeah,” he says, and his face falls back into carefully crafted blankness. 

You fall into the chair next to him. 

“You get ditched too, huh?” You offer. 

He nods. “Yeah.”

There’s a long hanging silence between the two of you. 

“Karkat are you mad at me?”

You jump. “What? No. I... thought you were mad at me.” It’s not exactly true. 

You look at each other and then look away. Maybe on another day you might have laughed but not today. 

Dave sighs. “Oh. No, I’m not. I mean, what could you have even done to piss me off.”

You shrug heavily. “Yeah… I don’t know honestly.”

You both lapse into avoidant silence again. 

“Hey Karkat,” Dave says suddenly. 

“Yeah?” 

“What would you have done if say I, uh, theoretically, and I don’t know I’m just putting this out there you know, just curious, but uh. What would you have done if I had maybe. If we had maybe.”

“Dave, spit it out, fucking hell.”

“WhatwouldyouhavedoneifIaskedyoutoProm.”

Your brain short circuits. “What?” 

You look up at him to see his face, and it looks like he swallow a lemon. 

“Forget it,” he says quickly. “Forget I said anything. I’m an idiot. Where’s Nepeta by the way, you guys looked cute together. I should probably go find Jade, she was my date and all and yeah maybe she shouldn’t have ditched me but I mean, there’s a lot of people here and Jade is a sociable girl, top of the food chain social butterfly we all can’t keep up.”

“Dave,” you cut him off. “Tell me what you said before that. One more time.”

“What part there was a lot of stuff I just said Karkat I’m sorry if you weren’t paying attention.”

“Dave!”

He leans forward and rocks uncomfortably in his chair. “I didn’t say anything.” 

You sigh and look away, crestfallen. Maybe you had just been hearing things. You look up and Dave is still looking in your direction, and he appears stricken. 

You look away, frustrated with yourself. If only you could just-- 

And then someone is taking your hand. 

You look over slowly to see Dave’s fingers intertwined with yours, and you feel your chest soar. You’re speechless. 

Dave is holding your hand. 

You find yourself unable to find words, anything you can think to say getting caught in the affectionate lump in your throat. 

“Fuck, I shouldn’t have done that,” Dave says and lets go.

You look up at him. 

“Dave, wait--” 

“No, fuck, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he says and then stands up, immediately absconding. 

-

He’s gone. You’ve searched the entire venue, twice. You called and texted him but his phone was off. He wasn’t in the bathroom, and no one knows where he is. It left you a lot of time to think about what just happened.

You run the series of events over in your head. Dave trying to tell you something like ‘What would you have done if I had asked you to prom’ to him taking your hand to him running away. Why did he run away? When you manage to get Jade’s attention she only shrugs and says they split off early in the evening. 

This leaves only one option, and you’re pretty sure about this one. It’s the only place Dave ever goes when he’s not at your place. 

He went to the beach. 

You’ve made up your mind about what you’re going to do when you see him, also. You’re going to kiss him, and damn whatever happens to your friendship. 

 

 

You finally get to the seaside and run to where the parking lot meets the sand, eyes wide looking for anyone out there. You sigh with relief when you see him sitting with his van, parked by a lit fire pit. He always gets one going immediately when he hangs out here, he says the beach experience isn’t complete without one. 

He’s still in his suit, playing guitar. 

You start running to him. 

“Dave!” You call out when you’re almost there. 

He looks up at you slowly and sadly. “Hey,” he says as you get to the edge of the blanket, huffing. 

“Why did you run?!” You yell after a few seconds of staring at him. 

Dave looks at you with surprise, and then back down at the blanket. “I… I fucked up. You’re my best friend I don’t wanna fuck it up by doing something stupid.”

Still catching your breath, you sigh as you fall to your knees in front of him. 

“Dave, you fucking dumbass.” You reach out and pull his face to yours and finally, after all this time, you kiss Dave Strider. 

He makes a surprise sound into your mouth as you kiss him. You pull away after a moment but hold his face close. 

“Do you have _any_ idea how long I’ve wanted to do that for.” You say, and then kiss him again. 

He shoves the guitar away from him onto the blanket and leans up into the kiss, coming up to his knees to better meet you for it. He grabs at you, the back of your jacket, your hair, and when you finally come up for air he just starts talking. 

“You looked so good tonight. You looked so fucking good I didn’t wanna stop looking at you. Karkat, fuck, I’m so sorry I ran. I’m such an idiot.” 

You kiss him again to shut him up. “Dave, it’s fine.”

“I just-- I just didn’t know, and--” 

“Shh, I didn’t know either. I wouldn’t have known unless you took my hand. I’m so glad you did, Dave. God, I’m an idiot honestly. I should have said something sooner. I should have asked you to prom.” 

“I wanted to ask you to prom,” he echoes, laughing. 

He kisses you then, and wow does that feel good. The relief filling you is so strong you’re glad you’re already on your knees. 

“Fuck prom, actually,” he says with a smile after you share a few more kisses. “Do you just want to hang out?” 

You grin back at him. “Hell yes. But first, I want you to know we’re gonna go on a real date after this. Not today, but soon.” 

“You know it’s just going to end up being Taco Bell and then your garage, right.” 

“Shut up,” you say, and kiss him again. 

Whatever this means, you’re sure you’ll figure it out with Dave, but for now you’re just content to sit beside him by firelight under the stars, making music that softly blows away with the wind coming off the sea.


End file.
